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ENLOWSPEAK

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(on permanent hiatus)


AIM: Lenlow1
lenlow@gmail.com

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Clix.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everybody! I hope everyone had a holly jolly Christmas. I did. I went to Mommy's house and hung out with her and Matt and Katie. It was Katie's first time back east since she moved to Chicago in the fall, and she almost didn't get to come home for the holidays, so it was good to see her. Pretty much all we did was eat, sleep, sit around and hang out... and it was awesome. When Uncle Tom came over we got to jam too, which was nice, even though we were pretty rusty. I really should play my drums more.

Speaking of music, Katie and Dad got me that Xbox Music Mixer i mentioned a while ago. It's pretty cool. I can store CD tracks and MP3s on the Xbox and karaoke to them. The thing can even remove vocals from songs. My only complaints are that (1) sometimes it removes some important instrument instead of the vocals; (2) when you record a karaoke performance, the vocals are a tiny tiny bit off the tempo of the song, which is annoying; (3) I don't have any reason to use it. I haven't even tried it myself. If I were to have a party with karaoke, I would need someone like Katie around who isn't shy to get the singing going.

Recommended reading: Dave Barry's 2003 recap.

In other entertainment news, pop superstar Michael Jackson again finds himself in legal trouble when authorities in Santa Barbara order him fingerprinted and booked on charges of "extreme creepiness, even for California." Jackson's attorney expresses outrage, telling a press conference that his client "doesn't even have fingerprints."

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How bout those Pats? They keep winning. Or so I hear... since I usually don't really watch their games or anything. But I wish I had watched Saturday's game, just so I could have seen the Joe Namath interview. Funny funny poop.

UPDATE: Broadway Joe apologizes. "Namath acknowledged he had been drinking before the interview with Kolber." Aw gee do ya think so?

And how bout the end of the Saints game? Amazing. Can anyone find a video clip of that last play?

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We don't have A-Rod. There's still a tiny chance we might get A-Rod somehow, but we don't have him now. That makes me sad.

For intelligent and knowledgeable treatment of the situation, I recommend visiting Abe's blog. He's a good buddy of Katie's. He's also a fellow Sox fan, and has bothered to learn how all this players' union poop works.

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Introducing a Volvo for women, by women. It's almost as if they want people to make jokes. "It's easy to park and easy to maintain." There's no pesky hood; instead women get contacted when it's time to give the car maintenance. (Hey wait, I need that.) Oh and don't forget lots of storage space, for SHOPPING!!!!!

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What is with BostonDirtDogs.com??? Today they quote A-Rod as saying "We're gonna get that World Series for Boston." But the caption of A-Rod's picture in a Sox hat says "Alex Tells The Nation What They Want to Hear in Friday Signing Conference." What, last Friday? Wouldn't this be in the news or something? What's going on here?

And then I read the next paragraph: "John Henry is on the verge of signing Barry Zito for the 5th starter spot in the Red Sox rotation saying 'you can never have enough pitching.'" Now that's just a little hard to believe. It's starting to get ridiculous.

But oh if it is true... A-Rod, Pedro, Schilling, Foulke, Magglio, Zito, Mueller, Lowe, Damon, Ortiz, Varitek, Bellhorn, Wakefield... I just got the chills. That sounds more like a champion fantasy team than a real team.

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Today I found out half of my office used to be some old guy's apartment, until he died. He died in his bed, which is where my desk is now. Pretty spooky, huh.

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Know what I like? Those "Best of" lists that every single organization makes in mid-December. I like to remind myself what happened this year. I like to see what CD's I should check out and what movies I should watch. They're just fun to read.

That's why I could spend a long time on this site I found on Metafilter.com. This guy has gathered all the "Best of 2003" lists he can find, and is always accepting submissions.

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BostonDirtDogs.com says A-Rod is on the way to the Sox!!!! And that site really does not like being dismissed as a rumor mill.

I'd say the jury's still out though.

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AllMusic.com (from AMG) seems to be the definitive reference for information about musical artists. They know everything. I mean, not only do they know who the Goats are, but on that site I learned that most of the Goats recently put out a CD under the name "Incognegro". Thanks, AllMusic!

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I found what seem to be a nice little game: Globulos. Looks like it's against real people... and looks like there's only room for you in Asia. Maybe I'll try again later.

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Huzzah, we got the bad guy. Our poker anthem, Motorhead's "The Ace of Spades", will be so much more inspiring today.

Pushing up the ante, I know you got to see me
read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again
I see it in your eyes, take one look and die
The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be
THE ACE OF SPADES!!!!
THE ACE OF SPADES!!!!

As true today... as it was... when it was written. Oh that reminds me I gotta make a poker playlist. Hmmm, Ace of Spades every third song, or every fourth song?

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New LenLowLand original brain teasers in the house. They should put your pro sports team knowledge (or more likely internet researching skills) to the test. I have combined various nicknames of teams in the NFL, NBA, MLB, MLS and NHL to create familiar phrases. In some cases I use athletes' names to represent the singular form of the nickname. Yes, it's been a slow day at work. And liking sports and being a word nerd cancel each other out right?

Example: Pete Rose + Michael Jordan = energy drink
Answer: Red Bull.

Now you try it!

1) Ray Allen + Curtis Martin = fast mode of transportation
2) northern US NHL team + MLS Cup 2003 team = San Diego problem
3) southeastern NBA team + southeastern NHL team = weather phenomenon
4) Bill Guerin + northern NBA team = coffeehouse
5) western NBA team + extinct MLS team = music genre
6) Mark Chung + midwestern MLS team = gun setting
7) Stephon Marbury + Luc Robitaille = Louis XIV
8) Keith Tkachuk + Shean Donovan = part of a fire, sometimes
9) midwestern MLS team + Tony Gonzalez = type of NCO
10) Coco Crisp + Amare Stoudamire + southern MLS team = noogie's cousin

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Stop the presses, Antoine is whining. I sure do miss that guy.

Also in hoops news: The Spurs and Rockets make NBA history!!!! By sucking.

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CORRECTION: Lambuel is absolutely real. Landover Baptist is fake. For some reason I thought they were affiliated, but they most certainly are not. Thanks to Dave for straightening me out.

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Farts are funny. (By Zak McFlimby of B3ta.com)

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Ooh, an ultimate frisbee video game. I won't be happy until it's 7 vs 7 for Xbox. Still, I applaud the effort.

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Announcement: I've been had. Landover Baptist, the church who brought us Lambuel, is not real. It becomes rather apparent as you browse the rest of their site. Like their store. Or their beliefs. Or any other page. Especially at the very bottom where it says "This parody is copyright 1996-2003 Americhrist Ltd. All rights reserved."

But somehow... that Kidz page... very convincing. Or is it just me?

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Please welcome my old college buddy Matt to the interweb. He's new here, but I am impressed with his savvy. He's even got comments and links and stuff. And he's a good guy to boot. And by that I mean he's a good guy, not that you would want to boot him. Stay tuned to Millinerd and if you're careful, you just might learn something.

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Heh, I noticed that someone came to my site by searching for "WANTED KENLOW FAN LEAD". And I'm like "All right, Katie has some fan that wants her to be a lead singer or something!" And then I'm all "What a strange way to phrase it."

I'm guessing they were really looking for this.

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This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. I'm talking Super Troopers funny. It's Objective: 4 Kids with Lambuel!

"Yarrr! I have changed me plunderin' ways thanks to the love o' Jesus! Avast matey, tis' the most precious booty of them all!"

Also make sure you check out Habu the Hindu, Gruff the Atheist and Hopsiah the Kanga-Jew. They really make you think.

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I have a movie recommendation: Super Troopers. I saw it the other day and laughed my bum bum off. I thought it was just going to be some stupid teen drug farce... but actually it's a stupid state trooper drug farce that is really really funny. Seriously folks, I'm putting it on the level of Office Space, Old School, Happy Gilmore, and Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood. It's that funny.

Pay no attention to RottenTomatoes.com. What do 51 movie critics know? They were probably hoping for a plot or something.

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The good news: Wheaton football is featured in an ESPN article! The bad news?

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Hey I know this guy! I just had no idea how wicked smahht he is! Jimmy plays on my frisbee team... and he's very good. You name it: ultimate frisbee, fish manipulating vortices; Jimmy's the master. Check out all these high-profile articles about his recent work: MSNBC, Harvard, MIT, NewScientist.com, NPR. I guess we'll stop giving him a hard time for missing frisbee games to study fishies.

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Hey greater Boston area, how bout that morning commute? That was awesome. I left my house at 8 AM, planning to spend the morning in Needham and then drive to CT for a 3:30 meeting. Instead I didn't get onto Rte 2 (a couple miles from my house) until 10:00 and didn't get onto Rte 95 until 11:00. So I just kept driving to CT and arrived at 2 PM. So at least I wasn't in a huge hurry. Good times.

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