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Thursday, February 28, 2002
Dan Duquette go bye-bye!
"Duquette will continue to be paid until Jan. 26, 2004, as part of the $4.5 million, three-year contract extension given to him by the old owners." Wow. I hope he's going to be okay. Tuesday, February 26, 2002
I was reading an article on soccernet.com and I thought this was amusing: "Japanese police say they are adopting a policy of zero tolerance towards potential trouble-makers at matches and are working with overseas authorities to prevent known hooligans from entering the country before or during the World Cup.... About 800 known hooligans will be banned from leaving Britain during the World Cup".
I didn't realize people made a habit of hooliganism, but I guess now that makes sense to me. 94 days to go. Monday, February 25, 2002
Car ownership sucks.
A week ago I took the car in because I had a big ol' transmission fluid leak. At the shop I said "hey why not do the 30,000 mile tuneup while you're at it." You can still do that at 45,000 miles right? (Maybe car ownership isn't so bad if you're not automotively retarded... I'll never know.) So they gave the car back to me, and right away I noticed that the "Service engine soon" light was on. I also noticed that first gear wasn't working too nicely. And I thought to myself "oh those will probably go away." But they didn't. So every time I started up my car and got going, it would take about 30 seconds to get the car going. This led to some scary situations, like having to pull into traffic right away and not being able to give the car gas. Food for thought: how could the mechanics not have noticed this? Anyway, today I had the car towed to the dealership again, and it turns out my "first gear is burned out". Apparently I drove a little too far on it after too much fluid leaked out. So I need to get a new part (a gear?) for $600+, and it won't be ready till tomorrow. Huzzah. Funny side story: I am super-sore today, due to a frisbee tournament Saturday on top of indoor soccer Thursday. When the Saturn dude gave me a ride home this morning, I realized my house keys were with my car keys, which were with my car, which was with those punks at the dealership who couldn't tell my first gear was burned out a week ago. We at Jump Street have a secret emergency entrance, but it requires quite a bit of acrobatics to get to (it's up two and a half floors). So as I balanced on a railing about to pull myself up, I looked down and paused. It was kind of a long way down to the cement below. I got down, took everything out of my pockets, and took off my sweater. I also actually judged where I would fall if my soreness turned out to be more than I suspected, and placed my cell phone nearby on the ground. That way if I fell and broke my legs, I could just reach out and dial 911. Pretty clever, eh? To make a long story short, I didn't fall and there isn't much of a story at all. In other news, I have a date Thursday. Curious parties can e-mail me for the juicy gossip. Sunday, February 24, 2002
Tuesday, February 19, 2002
Take the last name of a U.S. president, change one letter, and rearrange those letters to get the last name of another U.S. president.
And now for something you really don't care about, but I thought was amusing. The pathetic nature of my fantasy basketball team. I'm in last place by a bigger margin than I thought possible. There are 14 players on my team, and right now 9 of them have little "player news" blurbs, each of which contains a one-word heading. Here are 8 of those 9 headings: TOE, CALF, TOE, HIP, TOES, KNEE, SUSPENDED, LETHARGY. I think I'll change my team name to "The Gimps" or "Intensive Care Unit" or the "Handi-Capables"... although "Washington Generals" is still rather fitting...
But it's all water under the bridge, for this weekend we draft our BASEBALL teams!
Thanks to Jen for this nugget o' info: "As the clock ticks over from 8:01 PM on Wednesday, February 20th, 2002, time will (for sixty seconds only) read in perfect symmetry. To be more precise: 20:02, 20/02, 2002. It is an event which has only ever happened once before, and is something which will never be repeated. The last occasion that time read in such a symmetrical pattern was long before the days of the digital watch (or the 24-hour clock): 10:01AM, on January 10, 1001. And because the clock only goes up to 23.59, it is something that will never happen again!"
Hey that's tomorrow! Sure that's interesting, unless it's not... but I thought it was a lot cooler when something similar happened on July 8, 1990, midday. Me brudda alerted the family to the exact SECOND when it would be 12:34:56 7/8/90. Far out, man. Then a month later we should have taken a trip to Europe or somewhere, where 7/8/90 means August 7. Yeah.
Not My Desk is funny.
"For some time now, I have had a solution to the problems of homelessness and hunger: Grind up the homeless and feed them to the hungry. Simple. Efficient. Effective. It's killing two bird with one stone, only the stone is a woodchipper and the birds are shrieking, clawing human beings." Monday, February 18, 2002
Okay, 95% of my readers won't care about this at all, but I think it makes for a good read: "The Geography of Hip Hop". It took me a while to figure out the map they have there, because it's not an actual map. All they did was separate all rappers into four rough geographical categories, and within each one they arbitrarily made up a "map". It's kinda stupid because, for example, The Roots and De La Soul are on the "east coast" side of the map, yet the Roots are at the top of the map even though they're based in Philadelphia and De La's from Long Island.
What I learned today: - If it's not from the east coast, chances are I'm not a fan. If I were to name my twenty favorite rap artists, all but Outkast, the Pharcyde and Cypress Hill would be from the east. Take away the Roots and the Goats (both Philly) and they'd all be from NYC. Verrrry interesting.... - I didn't know Guru was from Boston. (He's the one rapping in the current basketball commercial with Darius Miles and Quentin Richardson.) - Tupac Shakur used to be a dancer for Digital Underground. (And you thought Tupac Shakur was a Jewish holiday! Ohhhhhh!)
Look what I found on the web: Izzy "and you thought Carl was crazy" Alcantara from last summer.
 It looks like a Daily Show moment of zen. UPDATE: I also found the longer video of this "play". Click here, then click a video link on the right. I love the way nobody dares go near him because he is clearly insane. Friday, February 15, 2002
Espn.com has some quality Olympic pictures in today's gallery.
These guys tied for the silver medal in men's cross-country pursuit, whatever that is. Check out the effort by the guy on the bottom to get his toe to the line. Russia's Evgeni Plushenko settles for the silver medal in yesterday's freestyle men's levitation event. And everybody loves an action photo from a curling competition.
Last night on my way home from work my car broke. It broke right in half! No not really... I was cruising along and suddenly the gas pedal wasn't really working, it was just revving the engine. I have a big ol' transmission fluid leak. Either that or the front-end spec on the rotary girder blew a gasket. So I made it to a gas station (barely), and AAA took care of me. The frustrating thing is that I was scheduled for a complete tuneup on Saturday. Oh well.
I bet Sports Guy's fan base just doubled; on the hugely popular (and rightly so) website Fark there is a link to his review of the movie "Rollerball".
Jean Reno races through his scenes with "Does anyone know if Natalie Portman is up for 'The Professional 2'?"-type vigor. Say it ain't so, Reno. Thursday, February 14, 2002
For a while I've been saving up amusing search results by which visitors come to my page. I think I'll share some of them, as I separate them into categories (in bold):
Maybe I should grow up... celebrity fart and poop canine flatulence kak hawaiian poop downloading videos of poop burp fart she made poop in her diaper poop "standing up" talk about them boogers My experiment worked... lord of teh rings So I'm not the only one... hold me close i'm tired of dancing meowf What the...? bill cosby soap dish game funny cartoon picture maggots flies christina aguilera sausage package lyrics urlacher and dinner insmelligence brian urlacher toy sheep scanner Just amusing... when mommy meets jesus hunk adam vinatieri celebrity sightings rick moranis smellin ellen Chatting with the computer screen... what's the best site in the uk to have ready made funny prank letters to i did my root canal but the tooth still got feeling of pain it been 2 yrs People are stupid... wizard of menlow park brain urlacher
The "Hold On, Please" technique of dealing with phone solicitors.
His story near the end of the article reminds me of a temporary job I had one summer in my college years. All I know is that I was given a list of phone numbers, and a script. The phone numbers were for the homes of high school girls, and we were conducting a survey of those girls to gather information about what they were thinking in terms of college. I don't know why it was just girls, maybe we were researching for a women's college. I didn't care, I was getting paid to call high school girls. (Little did they know I was very inexperienced in that field.) For a few days, the operation went off without a hitch, and most of the girls were polite when they told me they were going to hang up on me. Some even spent five minutes answering my questions for the survey. But then there was this one girl who hesitantly said I should call back in a half hour... when I did, she passed the phone to her Dad. In a thick southern drawl he said "Listen, buddy? You better never call here again, you understand?" So that kind of scared me, and I said something like "fine with me!", maybe after he had already hung up on me. I didn't have time to explain that his daughter had said I could call back. Maybe I accidentally asked her what she was wearing, I don't remember. So I came away from the job with a tiny bit of respect for phone solicitors. That and a list of hundreds of high school girls' phone numbers. Wednesday, February 13, 2002
Cool, last night my site had its 10,000th visitor. And my 9,000th visitor who searched for either "Brain Urlacher" or "WTC pictures".
Hey, that webcam's really boring, wouldn't you say? You never see the cats during the day, and at night all we do is sit around. Maybe we won't shell out for a better camera. Althoughhhh... as a Valentine's Day special, tomorrow night there will be a special guest star: an actual female! P.S. Thanks so much for all the insightful feedback... I had no idea guys could not own cats and still be heterosexual, especially if they watch the Real World from time to time. Any ladies out there want a couple cats? Tuesday, February 12, 2002
There, the webcam looks a little nicer. Dave figured out how to get it to refresh automatically, though I didn't bother with that on this page. We also added a "cast of characters" type of thing. Tonight we'll add pictures.
There have been a few cat sightings, though none by me. I guess they never discovered that I put catnip on the couch.
We made a whole new blog for the webcam: jumpstreet.blogspot.com. Today's schedule is up there.
Coming soon: Cast of Characters. Monday, February 11, 2002
 Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you have all been waiting for. The 21 Jump Street webcam is LIVE. Before you get excited, it's Dave's crappy camera looking at some really boring people. And if you hit the browser's refresh button, you'll get a different image (every fifteen seconds). Except we don't really move. If you're lucky, maybe you can watch the kitty cats do cute little things during the day. We'll put catnip on the couch or something. And don't worry I'll put a permanent link on the left so you can always have 24-7 access to what's going on on the 21 Jump Street couch.Anyway, here's a rough schedule of webcam events. 7 AM - 5 PM: Nothing, maybe some cats. 5 PM - 11 PM: Me Bill and/or Dave watching TV. 11 PM - 7 AM: Darkness.
I was browsing around in Borders just now, and there was a woman leading around two blind children. I was within earshot of them for no more than twenty seconds, and twice I heard the woman say to them "look at this".
Sunday, February 10, 2002
I'm not really into the Winter Olympics... but maybe this will help! (Click the link on the right of that page.) Espn.com put together smooth flash presentations which explain most of the events. I checked out the curling part, and it finally made sense to me. The scoring is just like bocce... and the way those stones can curve is fascinating. Also, I had never heard of the "skeleton" event before today. Apparently it's like the luge, but you lie on your stomach.
My mistake, I'm still not that interested. BRING ON THE WORLD CUP!!!!!!
Yesterday I played in an ultimate frisbee tournament in New Hampshire. I was fortunate to make it through the day uninjured... I had been worried that my winter of athletic inactivity combined with the horrible conditions would spell trouble. There were several inches of snow, and under that a solid layer of ice. Mobility was severely limited... as was the skill of my team. We got destroyed. But a good time was had by all.
 Steve Nash of the Dallas Mavericks: giving hope to all short, ugly, white basketball players across the globe. Every time they showed him during last night's NBA All-Star 3-point contest, I couldn't help but laugh. And speaking of that evening... did anyone watch it? Did anyone see Jamie Foxx during the "Hoop-It-Up" competition? I think he was hopped up on goofballs. When they showed him on the bench he was staring at the ground with a vacant smile. One of the commentators talked to him and he was stumbling over his words, not making any sense. Every time he got the ball from his Houston teammates he'd launch an unsuccessful three from several feet behind the line. It was hilarious to watch.I had a cool dream last night. I was riding shotgun (or whatever you call it) in a fighter jet. Don't know who was flying it. We were flying above a coastal city at night, I think it was Chicago. And there was some sort of huge hurricane-type storm over what must have been Lake Michigan. Anyway, the pilot was heading out to the edge of the storm and flying a couple yards above the water... it was so cool, the lightning illuminating the waves that were zooming by right below us. Then he headed into the city and, still staying close to the ground, weaved around the buildings and down the streets, doubtlessly scaring the poop out of anyone on the ground. He was doing all these tricks which, in retrospect, are probably quite impossible in a fighter jet. Rather exciting. Good story, eh? I think I'll make a movie about it. Anyone got a few million dollars I could borrow? Friday, February 08, 2002
Just the other night I was thinking to myself... it's about time the Chemical Brothers put out another CD. It's been almost three years, which is an eternity in the dance/DJ/techno genre. And then today Dave informed me that they just put one out. So I just hopped over to Best Buy and bought it.
So while my music wishes are being granted, here are some other bands that are overdue... though most of them have probably retired or disbanded:... Digable Planets, Deee-Lite, Propellerheads, K7, Portishead... I'll think of more when my CD collection greets me in the car. Ooh, writing about this was a good idea. I checked cdnow.com to see if I should add Prodigy to the list, and I learn they recently put out a two-disc album of remixes and B-sides. I guess it's back to Best Buy I go.
What's the deal with Menthol shaving cream? It's like putting Icy Hot on your face. It burns! I bought it because I thought it would be nice and minty fresh, but instead I do a hurried job shaving in order to get the stuff off my face quicker. Good thing I only shave once a week! (Ha, I beat you punks to the joke.)
And how about Grape Nuts? No grapes, no nuts, what's the deal? Thursday, February 07, 2002
Wednesday, February 06, 2002
Here's a challenging puzzle from the latest issue of Games Magazine. If you solve it, you can enter a contest... not sure what the prize is though.
Solving this little puzzle will yield a secret location on the Web and instructions on what to do when you get there.
WWW. B5 D9 B7 B6 B3 D10 E1 A11 . C9 E8 A3 / E2 G12 F11 D4 C8 B2 G2 D7 .HTML A12 B10 B8 C9 D9 F4 B1 C11 B4 F3 C5 E4 E12 C2 G2
Is it just me, or do Jettas usually contain attractive young women? It's to the point where I structure my morning commute around testing my hypothesis.
Tuesday, February 05, 2002
I just got back from the Patriots' victory parade in downtown Boston. Good fun. The boss took us all out to cheer on the cavalcade, which was nice. Cold, but nice. Apparently over a million fans showed up... wow. I recognized Kraft, Bruschi, Brown, Vinatieri and Milloy. I missed Brady and Belichick, and boston.com says Bledsoe was not in attendance.
This is funny: at a college basketball game, an NBA player was chosen at random from the crowd to hit a half-court shot... so he did.
Monday, February 04, 2002
Here are some of the pictures we took at our Superbowl party last night. (Hey did you hear the Pats won?)
Bobby, Billy, Bubbly and... Stu Ew Gross The hosts with the most Good thing we spent many hours cleaning up beforehand, eh?
Excerpt from John's Journal over at Zug.com: "I need a new TV. (Mine was ruined when I humped it for fifteen solid minutes after the winning field goal.)"
Tee hee.  Okay there wasn't any looting or pillaging (by me, anyway), even thoughPATS WIN!They achieved the impossible. They beat the Rams. Nobody thought they could do it, and they did it. I won't pretend I always thought they could do it... I'm not even a big football fan. But this is HUGE... and very strange. We're New England, yet we're celebrating a professional sports team championship???? Cats and dogs, living together, mass hysteria. No New England team has won a title since the '86 Celtics. UNTIL NOW. Check out the picture, even the refs are psyched. We had some people over to watch the game. Good times. The bubbly was bubblin', the chips were flyin', and the result was the messiest apartment I have ever seen... and I'm not exaggerating. I'll get Dave to send me some pictures he took... if he feels like showing up for work today. Our buddy Bob had a bet going; if the Pats won by 21 or more points, he won $3000. So at the point where that dude recovered the fumble and ran it back for the touchdown which seemingly put the Pats up by 21, that was somewhat exciting. But then it was called back due to a penalty. So we were slightly less excited. But still excited because the PATS WON THE SUPERBOWL!!! Oh sorry I hit the caps lock button by accident. After the game and some celebration, Roommate Dave and I headed for Davis Square, to meet with Alan and some of his peeps. It was crazy.... everyone was honking their horns, people dancing in the street. In the immortal words of Rob Van Winkle, "bumper to bumper, the avenue was packed." It was awesome. It was a good feeling, high-fiving every stranger, yelling, and all that. We felt... united. America would have wanted it that way. Sunday, February 03, 2002
Dude, the Pats are going to win the Superbowl. It's 9:13. It's 17-3 at the end of the third quarter. I may not survive the evening when we win... there may be some looting and/or pillaging in our near future.
Luke Enlow signing off. |
